Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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