I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
