miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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