i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
