Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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