The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
