she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
