That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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