Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
