I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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