It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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