Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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