We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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