standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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