at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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