bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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