She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
