We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
