There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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