Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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