While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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