Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
