I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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