Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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