I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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