hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize