I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
