So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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