im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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