We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize