last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
