There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
