i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
