when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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