just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize