sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
