I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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