and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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