Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize