thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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