I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
