Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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