I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
