Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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