I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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