Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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