my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
