Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
