I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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