How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the day after is always just damage control
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
