is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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