my vag is so smooth its legendary
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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