I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
