Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
