What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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