somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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