I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have aggressive nipples.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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