How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize