do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
