Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
