His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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