Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
