just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they need to just BURY HIM!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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