Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize