for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
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All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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