she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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